St. Patrick’s Day Style

{Guys, don’t be that guy}

I love holidays. From Thanksgiving to Christmas to my birthday to everyone else’s birthday, I’ll take any excuse to celebrate with friends and family. And St. Patrick’s Day is no exception. They say everyone’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, right? All the more reason to celebrate!
Every city enjoys its own traditions. Chicago dyes its river green, Boston has no fewer than three parades to ring in the holiday, even Savannah, GA is known for its green grits and surprisingly raucous festivities. Here in the Big Apple, New Yorkers fete the day by drinking their faces off two weeks before the actual date in the unlikely party town of Hoboken, NJ.

I know, I know – New Jersey. Trust me, this is a once-a-year sojourn for me. Like driving the snakes out of Ireland, me and St. Patrick do what we gotta do. So, like a good New Yorker, I fight my gag reflex every year to cross the river into Jersey and live it up with other adventurous friends. I’m hoping your own city’s festivities haven’t happened yet, so this commentary is still relevant. Herewith, my tips for celebrating in, well, style: 

Silly slogan shirts are acceptable once a year, and this is it. So dig that “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” shirt out of the back of your closet and wear it with pride.
Conversely, silly hats are never acceptable. A fuzzy fluorescent topper shaped like a shamrock may attract attention, but it’s not the kind you want.
If you’re Irish, by all means, wear a kilt. Women love a guy who’s proud of his family. But if you wear it, be ready to back it up with some Irish blood and a detailed description of your lineage. Otherwise, you’re just a dude in a skirt.

No beads. This is not Mardi Gras. Leave the necklaces to the chicks flashing their goods on Bourbon Street.
The most important style tip: Don’t get ridiculously wasted. Contrary to what you think when in said-intoxicated state, you are at your LEAST ATTRACTIVE when you’re fall-down drunk. In your mind, you’re working your swagger; in reality, you’re probably just wobbling. If you can’t handle your liquor, you don’t deserve to be an honorary Irishman for the day. Go home, and next year, eat something more substantial than that green bagel you scarfed down with your day’s first green beer.

(image via Metromix Chicago)