Style Girlfriend

I’m looking for a tux for my wedding, following the belief that tuxes don’t need to be formal. Do you have a recommendation on where I could find one that slots in between J. Press trad and Thom Browne mod? Something that is modern classic. Thanks!

Congrats on your impending nuptials! I’m going to work off the assumption that you’re willing to buy, yes? It is your wedding after all, and besides, we all know how I feel about renting a tuxedo (if you don’t, read all about it here)…suffice it to say, I feel bad things about the idea. Very bad things.

As for your assertion that tuxes don’t need to be formal, I feel like maybe you mean they should be more…accessible? Because I agree that some guys are scared off by tuxes, thinking they look like a) they’re wearing a “James Bond” halloween costume or b) they’re headed to senior prom all over again (it’s an unequivocal fact that all guys looked terrible in their tuxes at prom – you haven’t grown into your body yet, you’re definitely renting, and you know nothing about style…yet. It’s cool; girls cringe when looking back on their sherbet-colored sparkly dress / ringlet curl updo atrocities too). Thankfully, they don’t have to – and picking your own goes a long way towards a guy feeling comfortable in formal wear.

But make no mistake, a tux IS formal, and is best reserved for an occasion that takes place after 6pm (it is called evening wear for a reason) where guests are asked to dress up accordingly. As such, I’m going to make (another) assumption that you’re not getting married on the beach at, like, two in the afternoon. Yes? Yes. Moving on.

For a modern classic look, I’d recommend going single-breasted (the only guy I’ve seen who can get away with a double-breasted tux is Prince William and even then..I mean, he is a prince), single button, a shawl lapel with a bow tie or a slim peak lapel with a bow tie or long tie. Now, before anyone gets all scoffy about long ties with tuxedos, let me say one thing. Sure, it’s not super-traditional, but I don’t think it ruins a tux. You know what I think ruins a tux? Tugging at your bow tie because you feel uncomfortable or not like yourself in it. Try both, and go with what works for you.

If you can stand it, I’d push for midnight blue over black, as it can look better in pictures than black. Remember the tux Paul Rudd wore for his wedding in I Love You, Man? He looked super sharp, right?!

As for WHERE to get it, you have a few options depending on your price point. Brooks Brothers can get you suited up, and is a great end-to-end solution, with plenty of shirts, ties and accessories to choose from. However, you might find yourself fighting with their tailor to get the suit as slim as it sounds like you prefer to wear yours. Suitsupply is also fast becoming my go-to recco for affordable-but-nice suits. And the tailors there understand a younger man’s aesthetic better, so when you say Thom Browne, they hopefully won’t shake their heads dismissively and try to back you into loads of pleats and a boxy jacket.

If you have the time, money and druthers, I’d say it would be great to go made-to-measure. A service like 9tailors, MyTailor.com, or Evolution of Style can get you (and your groomsmen) suited up and looking sharp for your big day.

French cuffs and a pair of badass velvet slippers complete the look. Good luck!

I recently visited a friend whose wedding I’m standing up in next summer. Our mission: pick out bridesmaid dresses for her big day. After a weekend spent shop hopping, we’d selected the perfect dress. Three, actually – gotta love a bride who caters to bridesmaids with different body types!

Over brunch the next day, we started discussing the next item on her wedding checklist – what the groomsmen will wear. The bride said she and her fiance are considering rented tuxedos for his friends because, “I don’t know if we can ask all the guys to buy a new suit.”

I’m not sure if it was the mimosa talking, or the designer dress-sized debit looming on my own bank statement, but I went a little bridesmaidzilla.

Not surprisingly, I’m a big believer in groomsmen shelling out for matching suits for a wedding. Am I a controlling, perfectionist clothes horse? Sure. But in this situation, I firmly believe I’m in the right. Let me tell you why:

Weddings aren’t cheap…for anyone.

Newsflash: getting married costs money. As a grown man, you should know what you’re getting into when you say yes to standing up in someone’s wedding. There’s the bachelor party. The plane ticket and hotel (if the wedding involves travel). The gift. And yes, the suit. If you can’t comfortably afford to incur these costs, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying no to being a groomsman. An honest answer of, “I’m excited to celebrate with you, but financially this isn’t something I can do right now” is completely acceptable. Otherwise, you should expect to spend some money, including on what you wear that day.

Investing for the long haul.

Speaking of money, renting a tuxedo is like pouring champagne down the drain. It’s a waste. And more often than not, a rented tuxedo looks like, well, a rented tuxedo. In my opinion, the first and last time you should rent a tux is your senior prom. Luckily, today you can find a good-fitting suit for about the cost of a bridesmaid dress from places like SuitSupply or the traveling made-to-measure company 9 Tailors.

Guys get off easy anyway.

I’m lucky; my friend has great taste and picked out (with my help, cough cough) a beautiful bridesmaid dress that I know I’ll be able to wear again. But sometimes? A lot of times? Bridesmaids dresses are not cute. In fact, I’ve seen a few that were sure to live in the back of the wearer’s closet for the rest of their coral silk taffeta-covered lives. But a suit that fits in a neutral color like navy, gray or black? That can be worn forever.

Fair is Fair

The bride who tells her bridesmaids, “Oh, just show up in something pink” is an urban legend. Us ladies are expected to buy the dress. Get our nails done. And our hair. And our makeup. If the bride gets a cohesive look on her side of the aisle, the groom should expect that his side looks the part of the wedding party, and not just random guests who wandered up front. All you have to do is the suit – that is, unless your nails need some work.

(image via The Blonde Photographer)