When you think “wife guy” — a man known for public displays of affection for his wife — who do you picture?
Personally, my go-to wife guy is Justin Bieber.
The singer constantly posts to social media photos kissing and cuddling his wife, Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin), or solo shots of her looking seductively at the camera…yes, even when cradling her growing baby bump.
And that’s…fine?! If you want to be publicly into your wife, that’s great. It is! Obviously. But it’s not the only way to love your wife. And it’s not the only way to let other people know you love your wife.
Mostly because “Look how hot my wife is” is not the be all, end all of how to love your partner.
After all, looks fade. Bedhead happens. Wrinkles will appear. And then what? If you’ve based your relationship on “Check out this smokeshow I bagged,” that’s not really a recipe for long-term love.
So I propose a new paradigm for the wife guy. The wife guy who doesn’t just love his wife for how she looks next to him (ahem, I’m looking at you, Pookie and Jett), but for how he feels when standing next to her.
A husband who supports her ambitions. Who champions her talents. Who prioritizes her dreams and goals, and even elevates them ahead of his.
Two shining beacons of this type of wife guy have crystallized in recent weeks: Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff and Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian.
I can promise you these are the type of men that women are looking for in 2024. So, whether you’re in a relationship or hoping to be, skip Bieber and look to Emhoff and Ohanian instead for ideal partner inspiration.
Below, how to be a wife guy in 2024:
Embrace a supporting role
Emhoff’s comfort in breaking traditional gender norms and stereotypes is a sight to behold.
I mean, look at him! Have you ever seen someone look so excited to canvas??
Regardless of your politics, it’s inspiring to see a spouse so publicly hyping up their partner. The California-based lawyer models being a strong partner while his wife’s career takes center stage.
The takeaway: Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader.
Redefine masculinity to remove jealousy
Alexis Ohanian, married to legendary tennis player Serena Williams since 2017, was recently misidentified on the BBC Olympics Opening Ceremony telecast as her personal umbrella holder.
Was he upset? Did he sue the network for libel? Take to social media to boast about his own professional accomplishments?
Nope, he made a joke about it.
Ohanian is clearly comfortable in himself, and his place in his wife’s life. Because while the Reddit founder and investor came into the relationship a force of his own, he is now permanently Mr. Serena Williams.
And he takes that role seriously. His social media focuses on parenting their daughter, championing paternity leave, and raising the profile of women’s sports.
While many men would feel emasculated with a woman considered the GOAT not just of her sport but of sports, Ohanian shows there’s room for everyone to shine.
The takeaway: Your partner’s spotlight is big enough for the both of you, if you’re willing to stand next to her and not in front of her.
Adopt professional adaptability
Remember when at the end of Friday Night Lights — spoiler! — Coach and Tami Taylor move from Dillon, Texas to Philadelphia so she can take a job as the dean of fictional Braemore College?
Both Ohanian and Emhoff were clearly taking notes.
Transitioning from a high-powered legal career to a public-facing role as Second Gentleman showed Emhoff’s willingness to put his own career aspirations second to support his wife’s political journey.
Ohanian, for his part, relocated from New York City to Florida, where Williams was based, so she could continue to train year-round.
In a modern partnership, navigating shared ambition can be tricky but isn’t impossible. Where can you be flexible, and yes, even sacrifice, in order to support your partner’s goals?
Maybe it’s taking on a less-demanding role so your significant other can take on a more demanding one. Maybe it’s picking up household responsibilities that you’d otherwise prefer to delegate.
The takeaway: Look for areas where you can practice balancing personal career growth with being a supportive partner.
***
There are plenty more examples of wife guys that don’t give women the ick: John Legend is his wife Chrissy Tiegen’s number one cheerleader. Travis Kelce, while not married to Taylor Swift (yet?!), has been seen at shows all over Europe in his offseason, and answers questions about the singer with grace and respect. The three-time Super Bowl winner knows that his partner shining doesn’t dim his light.
These men show there’s a way to be a wife guy that doesn’t exclusively focus on said-wife’s appearance. Let’s see more of that in 2024 and beyond.
More Dating and Relationship Stories from SG HQ:
How to Have Good Conversation on a Date
Dating When Sober (or Sober-Curious)
What’s a Beige Flag, and Should You Raise Them?
How to Have More Rizz with Women
