How to (Artfully) Approach a Girl in College

How to (Artfully) Approach a Girl in College

how to approach a girl in college

By Megan Collins | Last Updated: Jun 23 2022 | 4 min read

I get a lot of questions from SG readers in college, which I love. On how to dress, sure, but also on the topic of l-o-o-o-o-ve. What to wear on a first date? What to get a new girlfriend for her birthday? And of course, how to – stylishly – pick up a lady.

But since I’m approximately 1,000 years old and can’t remember how relationships in college kick off (I think alcohol might be involved?), I asked Intern Emily for the latest lady scoop from the front lines. As a bonafide co-ed, she’s got you college guys covered with the best ways to approach the undergrad girl.

Below, how to approach a girl in college the right way:

how to approach a girl

{Love Actually – forever the gold standard}

“On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?”

Yes, that actually happened… I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. But all apologies to Uncle Sam. I might let you buy me a drink for creativity, but that’s about as far as you’re gonna get.

Approaching a girl doesn’t have to be as complicated and thought-out as you might think. We appreciate authenticity way more than cheesy pickup lines and generic compliments. As in, don’t tell a girl she has beautiful eyes if you’re in some dark, cavernous club and can’t even tell what color shirt she’s wearing, let alone her eye color. It’s disingenuous, and she’ll see right through it.

Instead, if you’re genuinely interested in a girl, I recommend a more natural approach. A few things to keep in mind before you make your approach:

how to approach a girl

{Justin Long explaining to Ginnifer Goodwin why “He’s Just Not that Into You”}


Being in college definitely lends an advantage toward meeting that special someone, since the scenarios that make it possible are practically endless. Such as…


Everyone wants a class buddy – someone you can collaborate with, someone to consult if you missed any work, and, in the case of those dreaded requirement classes, someone to share your misery (for me, that’s econ….sorry but snoooooze). Take the opportunity to befriend a good-looking lady who also seems smart. Telltale sign? She takes notes instead of doing the college paper’s crossword. Who knows? It could turn into something more.


Great place to approach a girl and see if “sparks fly” (all respect to T.Swift). You’ve already found a common interest, which is a great conversation starter. It’s refreshing when a guy has other interests besides his frat and getting wrecked on the weekends-it shows substance and versatility.


Tailgates are a great way to expand your (sporting) social circle, meeting friends of friends…of friends among the RVs. Bond over your school spirit or a good ole’ fashioned game of cornhole.


All of our favorite rom-coms have told us love can happen anywhere. So it must be true, right? Even at the bar. But really, despite the bad rep, bars can be a great place to make the magic happen. Honestly, poll your friends and family members – I bet plenty have met their significant others’ at a bar. A romantic story to tell the grandkids? Nope, but hey, we don’t all get meet-cutes.

how to approach a girl

{brb, sobbing at the mere screenshot of this scene from The Notebook}


Listen up because this part’s important: Before you’re three fishbowls deep.

Because there’s nothing more unattractive than being approached by a guy who’s sloshed and stumbling over his words. Hopefully this applies only to the last two “Where’s”, but hey, I don’t know what you get up to before class. College is a crazy time.

how to approach a girl

{Oh, Ashton…}


Here it comes. The clincher.  The mind-blowing secret that women wish guys knew:

Skip the strategy in favor of one secret weapon: confidence. Confidence is key, guys.

This comes with feeling and looking your best. Women can smell insecurity from a mile away. And it’s a turn-off.

Don’t be easily intimidated.

It doesn’t matter if you’re not her type or if she seems a little out of your league to you. Owning who you are and asserting yourself can negate both of those things. Being approached by a nice, genuine guy is a rarity…use that to your advantage. She won’t bite…and if she gives off an “I’m too good for you” type vibe-chances are it’s the other way around and you’re better off without her.

Be natural and don’t try too hard.

If you take care of yourself and you look and feel great, you’ll have the confidence to walk up to her with your head held high and you won’t need any elaborate gimmicks. Ask her where she’s from or *gasp* her name. Don’t think about it too much…if you feel a connection, the conversation will flow effortlessly.

Know when to walk away.

Don’t be a stage-5 clinger. If she’s not into it, move on. It’s her loss, anyway. 

how to approach a girl

Tell us:

What are your tactics for picking up the ladies? Any pickup line horror stories that you’re guilty of?

(Images: 1 & 4 imdb,  imgfave, screened)

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I started Style Girlfriend to help guys look, feel, and act their best.