You lock eyes. Smile. Maybe shake hands. In the six seconds it took to greet one another, you’ve both just formed a first impression of the other person. Do you know the things women first notice about you in order to make the best first impression?
Don’t worry; it’s not that hard. Really. There are even a few places women’s eyes (and other senses) graze when we first meet you. We’re letting you in on exactly what those are so you can make your best first impression, every time.
Read on to find out the 5 things women first notice about you:
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1. We notice your signature scent
We don’t have to dig too deep into the science of scent to know that memories are linked more to smell than any other sense – for better or for worse. Just the other day I stood near a woman doused in a fragrance that immediately reminded me of my fifth grade teacher and a flood of nostalgia (read: nightmares) for her pop geography quizzes. Your scent – or lack there – of is going to be noticed, so let’s make sure it’s in a positive light.
The takeaway
You can quite literally spritz on a better first impression here, guys. Just remember, subtlety is key. Don’t wear cologne? Don’t underestimate the power of a fresh smelling body wash. Most new brands have created a formula that lasts well into the day, but won’t leave you worried about going overboard on fragrance.
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2. We notice your greeting
In my favorite sitcoms, the greetings between a character and his or new love interest are so charming and fluid: they bump into each other, make eye contact, and immediately dive into shared interests and future baby names. And don’t get me started on reality show hello’s. The courtesy laughs, elevator eyes, not-so-subtle elbow touches, and too-soon cheek kisses that still somehow lead to making out in a gazebo set a terrible example for how to make a good first impression.
The takeaway
Make eye contact, but don’t look through us or up and down our bod before meeting eyes. Speaking of bodies, reach out for a handshake that doesn’t crush bones or feel too limp – the middle ground is gold. Above all else, though, be confident and ask questions. It’ll show that you’re interested and engaged. Oh – and if you’re worried about having to feign a bit of confidence to overcome nerves, I’ll lend you the trick that my mom offers enforces when I’m home: “head up, shoulders back, and smile genuinely.”
3. We notice your shoes
More than the watch you don for special occasions or even the car you pull up in, we’re looking down at your shoes. I can promise you that I’ve never discounted a guy for rocking a $50 weekender watch and more so, I’ve definitely never been starry-eyed over a d-bag because he’s flashing a Rolex.
So, what do women notice exactly? The state and style of your footwear. If your worn-down shoes are clinging for dear life, we’ll wonder why you don’t take pride in your appearance. And yes, we’re running if we see a square-toe. Conversely, thoughtful shoe selection is usually the first thing I throw compliments towards.
The takeaway
Account for the occasion when choosing footwear. Sneakers don’t belong at a candlelit restaurant just as much as square toed dress shoes don’t belong anywhere. Take a quick pause while getting ready to ask yourself if you’re accessorized for the occasion or better yet, shoot a tweet to Style Girlfriend. Polishing your dress shoes and boots will protect your investment and highlight their dapper design – what’s not to love about that?
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4. We notice your hands
Think about it: your hands are our first point of contact (please), so we’re definitely noticing what you’re working with. Rough and cracked hands are in no way appealing and that doubles for unkempt nails. This very tangible first impression is also a greater indicator of grooming in general, so keeping your hands soft and nails clean matters.
The takeaway
Make moisturizing and manicuring a must in your grooming routine. Keep hand cream in your gym bag or in your car for easy access and a higher probability that you’ll you know, actually use it. When it comes to manicuring, throw a scrub brush and nail clipper at the problem. If a shower doesn’t wash your nail beds clean, take a few seconds to scrub under and pay special attention so that your nail length isn’t too long.
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5. We notice your outfit
Yes, we’re looking at your clothes. No, we’re not brand checking or docking points for last season’s jacket. We’re simply noticing how well your whole vibe works together and spotting the small details that place an outfit anywhere on the spectrum from “oh yeah” to “yiiiikes.”
Of course, there are a few style flubs to absolutely avoid (looking at you Affliction tees and embellished jeans), but it’s usually a more cohesive overview that women are doing when they first meet you.
The takeaway
Glancing in the mirror or asking a second opinion works wonders. Do the buttons on your shirt look like they’re about to burst and possibly blind me during this handshake? Is it hard to focus on what you’re saying because your outfit has three plaids in four bright colors? Are oversized pleats detracting from the rest of your stylish look?
Not sure where to start? That’s okay! Start here. Bottom line: women aren’t looking for a supermodel (well, not all of us), but it is a good sign when we meet a man who’s thoughtful about his appearance. Respecting yourself enough to make an effort makes for a great first impression. Promise.
TELL US:
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION?
This article was originally published March 2016
Shoes are definitely one of the things I focus on. I always try to flash a smile when meeting someone for the first time, women or otherwise. I want to appear open and seem like someone that the person wants to meet. I’m not much of a cologne person except for on dates. Some guys in my office didn’t get the memo though and smell like they bathed in it. Being in an elevator with them is torture.
Great article by the way. I’d be interested in seeing an article focused on the 5 things women first notice about your home.
“Open” is such a good word for it! It’s not about trying too hard to be friendly OR trying too hard to be aloof. Open is a nice middle ground
And that’s a good tip!!!
One thing’s for sure: If I’m in a green bomber/leather jacket with either a henley, plaid or chambray shirt, dark jeans and chukkas, then I’m going for a casual yet distinct look to impress. Add to that an easy yet bedheaded hairstyle with either a clean mug or less-than-two days of scruff and I’m going for edgy & alternative yet approachable & humorous.
And during interactions, I try have a look that says, “Hey, I’m glad to see you today.” and give a vivacious wave. Not to mention, insert generous amounts of humor and pop-culture references in my interactions and that should put me in a good position, impression-wise.
I’m aiming for “vivacious waves” from now on! SG reader inspired life goals, right there…
Good article. I enjoyed reading it. I am not much of a cologne person except for on dates or special occasion and I use it only sparingly. Having been in the military it has become a habit to always have a well groomed appearance, to be neat and trimmed. I dress appropriate to the situation and environment. Most of meeting women or new people in general is how you carry yourself. Making eye contact, remaining engaged, listening, making sure the woman knows she is special that you’ve blocked out the rest of the world to listen to her.
Thanks, Nico! It’s amazing how far being well-groomed will take you. And you’ve *definitely* got first impressions covered when it comes to blocking out the rest of the world…I love that.
If I’ve learned anything from this season of Serial, it’s that it’s very important to be well-groomed in the military. I have to say, it’s not the worst habit to pick up!
Thankfully I’m a pretty outgoing person, so the hello, handshake/hug whatever and first verbal meeting goes well…I think I could pull off that first impression rose on the Bachelorette. I think I tick all these boxes at least moderately well, especially the grooming and shoes front. (speaking of that…I think there’s a polishing that’s going to happen this weekend with my go-to brown shoes)
Also glad you don’t discount guys with a weekender! Mine is daily wear thanks to the leather button stud strap from Form Function Form.
Can I just say, I *love* that you’ve thought about how your Bachelorette greeting would go? Now I kind of want to do a separate post just on if any of you find yourselves in that situation… haha
The bachelor and bachelorette is a guilty pleasure of mine. In fact there’s a group chat I’m in with several friends of mine titled “Nate for next bachelor”. I’m only moderately worried I’ll have too much to drink one night and sign up.
I don’t usually do cologne but I am aware of the smell of the shampoos, pomades or soaps I am using (and I always make sure I am clean). I was against scent until recently until I started working with a woman who wears strong scent but has chosen a really nice one (and is a great dresser too) so I find it pleasant on her.
Your Mom gave great advice Brittany – I find standing up straight totally changes my gravitas and the years of yoga have really helped in that regard. Beyond that as an older guy I try and stay dressy yet modern so I can avoid looking like I am either trying to dress like a young guy or an out of date old guy. I pay particular attention to going against the classics by wearing modern cuts or jackets, a decent watch or a patterned shirt.
Spot on with the shoes. My chelsea boots are in for repair and wearing my duck boots (what you call Bean boots) is killing me right now. I least I have a good selection of wingtips at the office. My female colleagues (especially those in my age bracket) mention good shows all of the time.
I think good posture and a classic style both pull so much weight in terms of small tweaks that are immediately noticeable. I’m glad the women at your office notice your wingtips! I’m telling you, sharp shoes = style compliments ha!
Now that your Mom and Megan’s Mom are giving style advice when are they doing a guest post? As I mostly interact with women in their 40s I think it might be a fun change of pace.
Body language is key, especially smiling. More importantly, do all these on the daily so that its natural and you don’t come off as trying to impress. I try to bring my everyday personality with me as much as possible. Maybe that sounds obvious, but I like to remind myself before meeting people. It relaxes me. Luckily I have four sisters, so I’ve gotten a lot of practice with banter.
Geez, the day after I order five pairs of JNCOs and square-toed monkstraps this article comes out!
My personal feeling on good impressions is “know thyself and act accordingly”. There isn’t just one way to make a good first impression. I for example am wry, easy with new people and chatty as all get out, but I’m not effusive. Contrast this with the people we all know who are just thrilled to death to meet you and “oh my god you’re kidding that is fascinating can I see that ring wow let’s get breakfast sometime give us a hug!”. Both are absolutely great as long as they’re authentic.
Uh I mean, JNCOs are always a good idea, right? Ha! Totally agree with you about authenticity, it’s the key to any good interaction.
How do you feel about square toed shoes ?
Haha! Not a fan, Joe…not a fan (could you tell?)
I picked up on it. When I see people in them I just lose all respect. Lol
Am no Fan,those coffin look-alike shoes were long buried in the 90s!
They were like the mullet for feet. I’m sure there is a store in bay ridge that still sells them though. Lol
I think you’ve hit all the right spots, or at least I hope so! I think shoes say a lot about someone; I routinely look at not just the shoes a woman wears but how they fit and how she walks in them so naturally I figure that women are critical of mine so I work to up my game. Scent? Absolutely! If its overpowering its sure to bring back memories of high school and I am a firm believer in subtly here; no one likes to be overpowered. Greetings and grammar pay. It amazes me when people mumble, enough said. Anyway, I think in the end men and women look upon the whole, the way pull it together, do we take pride or are we lazy? So, yes, I agree with you.
Not critical (necessarily, anyway)…let’s say ‘observant!’
Great article! I ticked all the boxes and felt a little proud of that. The habit of reading #menswear blogs has really rubbed on me.
If I may add, and I’m sure one commenter below already took notice, is about posture. Nothing looks “introvert” enough than a guy who slouches. It’s like they are hiding something or not proud of who they are. By standing straight, you’re giving an aura of being confident.
Great point! My posture is something I’m constantly working on and aware of…I often wish I’d taken ballet as a child so a straight back would come more naturally to me 🙂
I’d say some of my co-workers have let me know in a subtle way (burying their face in my chest) that they like my cologne. It’s all done as a joke but they do really like it, Yves Saint Laurent la nuit de homme (black bottle).
When it comes to meeting people, especially women, I have a hard time wondering if I should go in for a handshake or a hug. Do I know them well enough? It’s just something that is a bit difficult for me.
Shoes are probably the the most important piece to any outfit, the wrong pair can throw the entire look off. Variety is key there and doing you best to care for them so they can last you a long time. Of course some wear and scuffs add character. A clean pair of Chucks look like the wearer hasn’t lived a fun, adventurous life.
The one missing from the list is your watch… I guess it’s less common, since a lot of guys ditch it alltogether and just carry a phone…
The watch and the shoes are telling about a person… Both in terms of price point, but also personality… If they take care of their shoes, they are more likely to take care of themselves, and the details of the watch give you clues into their lifestyle/personality (although guys with multiple watches it may tell you more about their mood… I’d consider myself more of a chronograph guy, because I’m athletic, and on the go, but my daily go to is a Movado Museum, which has a super minimal movement, which is more minimalist and timeless, and goes with pretty much anything…).
I definitely get the greeting/hands thing… greeting speaks to confidence, and hands, like shoes, speak to how one cares for themselves…
And most of these things relate to history/evolution (the caring for oneself cues, from an evolutionary perspective, hinted to the ability of the potential mate to be a caretaker), and the things like shoes/watch/smell spoke to their income level and their ability to be primary breadwinner (again, I’m talking of a more sexist time, when female roles were more dependent, nowadays, guys should be looking at the same things in women…).
Great stuff. Sadly a lot of the guys never had a “father son” talk about … fashion. This has been an exciting discovery for me (I’m in my early 50s), I’ve had the good fortune of a friend here, a website there, a fashion savvy Aunt, (and daughters). Guys let me tell you it is WORTH investing time to understand the principles at play to not just look better, but become your TRUE and authentic self. Best to all….Thanks Style Girlfriend !
Oh wow, I love this!! Thanks for namechecking Style Girlfriend in such an illustrious list of trusted sources for your style upgrade, @renindy:disqus
🙂
Oh wow, I love this!! Thanks for namechecking Style Girlfriend in such an illustrious list of trusted sources for your style upgrade, @renindy:disqus
🙂
I know I’m 5 months behind, but this article and type of writing is so money.
Oh, thank you for saying that!! We love feedback (especially when it’s good..haha)
Are there other “what women think about…” topics you’d like to see covered on Style Girlfriend?