“I recently found myself divorced and dealing with it in unproductive ways. For eleven years I never had to worry about meeting anyone and therefore didn’t worry too much about my appearance.
While I never dressed that bad and I generally took care of myself, I never felt that I could or should pull off anything remotely fashionable. I never felt confident or comfortable venturing outside of the confines of a pair of ill-fitting jeans and a plaid shirt.
Well, after it became obvious that alcohol was not going to be a good solution for moving on, I started to pay a little more attention to my appearance. It started innocently enough being a voyeur on a few mens fashion sites I happened to discover. As all things internet go, one site leads to ten others and so on and so forth until I was getting an education on fit, fabric, color, etc.
Eventually I started to consider purchasing a few items…and I did. The first thing was a shirt that actually fit me properly, and a bow tie. Now, would I have the rocks to wear them? At first, no. But as they sat whispering the sirens’ song of style to me in my closet, one weekday evening I said “What the hell” and just went out walking around in a nice shirt and a bow tie. I felt awkward and self conscious at first…like I was way above my pay grade. However, the entire experience was exhilarating and I decided that I would do it again.
Well, six months and a few key purchases later (and multiple Youtube viewings to learn how to tie a bow tie) and I’m still at it.
Initially I was a little concerned that I was going to become superficial, however, something interesting happened. I found myself just enjoying the challenge of going out dressed up. It took a lot of confidence I never really had before to do it.
The most challenging experience was when I went back to visit my rural Wisconsin home (where the style of dress is “farm casual”) in a tweed blazer and wingtips and pulled it off like it wasn’t a big deal. Oddly enough, dressing up doesn’t make me feel any better than anyone else as I was worried it would (coming from humble rural Wisconsin stock, standing out was NOT acceptable when I grew up).
Quite the opposite, I’ve noticed that I’m now more tolerant, outgoing, and social when I dress up… odd that, eh? It’s sites like yours that gave me the motivation and knowledge to attempt this and I’m grateful. I’m looking forward to much more inspiration from the style girlfriend. Thanks a bunch.”