How Not to Raise “Beige Flags” in Dating
When it comes to dating, we’re all on the lookout for red flags—the warning signs that go off in your head that tell you: get out of there.
“He showed up drunk to our first date.”
“She brought up her ex in the first five minutes. All I asked was if she had any pets!”
If you’re looking for a romantic partner, you (hopefully!) know to avoid raising these kinds of warning signs with a potential new love. On TikTok, however, women have been sharing more subtle signals of potential problems when dating.
The name for this phenomenon? The “beige flag.”
What are beige flags?
Beige flags are nuanced signs that women notice in a man’s actions and attitude that give them pause. They’re not outright terrible, but they’re not great either. And women are using these beige flags as a gauge to evaluate a man’s compatibility and long-term potential.
Here’s a curveball, though. This TikTok trend has resurfaced recently with women sharing absolutely adorable things their boyfriend or husband does, making the concept of beige flags lose all meaning.
For instance, this is a beige flag:
@hillarybarrick1 #beigeflag #fyp #husbandwife #husband #relationship ♬ Summer Background Jazz – Jazz Background Vibes
Not great, right? A disproportionate reaction like this would make a woman a little nervous that a man could turn his “lagging internet” rage on her at some point, or on their kids. A beige flag!
Not something to leave her husband over, but something to bring up in couples counseling perhaps.
This, however, is what beige flags have become on TikTok:
@flabbygassgow Beige King #fyp #beigeflag #boyfriend ♬ Summer Background Jazz – Jazz Background Vibes
That…is not a beige flag.
That is freaking cute. It’s sweet. That’s a green flag!
Understanding Beige Flags
So it’s confusing, we get it.
But let’s proceed with the original understanding. That beige flags are the cautionary whispers that flicker in a woman’s mind when she’s getting to know someone that say, Something’s a little off with this guy.
They aren’t deal-breakers or glaring warning signs, but rather moments of hesitation or mild concern.
Beige flags arise from subtle behaviors, attitudes, or character tics that may not align with a woman’s dating preferences or personal values. While they might not instantly derail a budding connection, they can accumulate and eventually impact a woman’s decision to pursue a deeper relationship.
The more aware you can be of your own beige flags, the more power you have to redirect your attitudes and behaviors.
Below, the beige flags she’s on the lookout for:
Lack of ambition
A man who lacks direction or motivation in life may trigger a beige flag.
Most women seek out partners with goals, aspirations, and a sense of purpose. These qualities help her imagine a shared future with you.
It’s sort of like the “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” job interview question. You don’t have to whip out a vision board and share your step-by-step plan, but you should have a good idea of how to answer it if it comes up.
Poor communication skills
Communication plays a vital role in any relationship.
If you consistently struggle to express yourself effectively or avoid open and honest dialogue with a potential love interest, it can raise concerns for her about your compatibility and emotional connection.
You don’t have to bombard her with vulnerability, but don’t close yourself off, either.
Inability to compromise
Relationships thrive on compromise and mutual understanding. A rigid approach to disagreements or an unwillingness to find middle ground may signal potential challenges in navigating the complexities of a partnership.
Remember that you’re not trying to “win” in disagreements. Whether you’re deciding on where to go for dinner, or how to fix immigration policy, remember you two are on the same team.
Women look for emotional connection in a partner. If you consistently keep your guard up or avoid discussing deeper emotions, it can trigger a beige flag.
If you put up walls, especially early on, it will hint at potential difficulties in building a meaningful bond.
Lack of empathy
Empathy is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Men who consistently demonstrate a lack of empathy towards others may create doubts about their capacity to understand and support a partner’s needs.
She wants to know that you’ll put in the work to try to understand her feelings from her point of view.
How to avoid raising beige flags
Reflect on your own values, goals, and aspirations. Be clear about what you want in life and how you can actively work towards it.
Demonstrating ambition and a sense of purpose can help mitigate beige flags related to lack of direction.
Develop effective communication skills
Engage in active listening, practice expressing your thoughts and emotions openly, and be receptive to feedback.
This kind of effective communication helps to foster understanding, trust, and a deeper connection with potential partners.
Embrace flexibility and compromise
Recognize the importance of compromise in interpersonal relationships! Be open to considering different perspectives, finding common ground, and engaging in constructive problem-solving.
This shows your willingness to foster goodwill and harmonious interactions, and that’s not just true for romantic relationships. That applies across the board.
Cultivate emotional intelligence
Invest in understanding and expressing your emotions in a healthy manner. Read books on the topic. Listen to podcasts about it. Go to therapy!
Emotional intelligence is a muscle you want to work out regularly.
Show empathy towards others, validate their feelings, and demonstrate your ability to be emotionally available and supportive.
The bottom line?
While red flags serve as clear indicators of potential relationship issues, beige flags offer valuable insights into the subtler aspects of compatibility.
By understanding and addressing these nuanced concerns, you can navigate the dating landscape with confidence and avoid giving women a reason to second-guess pursuing a deeper connection with you.