Check out this guide on how to meet women, from the team at Style Girlfriend
“This is a message for single men that are tired of online dating.”
That’s how the tweet that caught my attention kicked off. My friend Nick Gray was sharing about how he met his current girlfriend, and by the end, I knew I had to get his game plan in front the broader Style Girlfriend community.
It was groundbreakingly innovative. Diabolically cunning.
He said guys should leave the house more and talk to women in real life.
Granted, my friend makes his livelihood encouraging people to be more social — in fact, he literally wrote the book on it. So, doling out this kind of sage wisdom is par for the course for him.
But I liked the way he put it, and I think it’s a useful way to reframe the practice of putting yourself out there.
Namely, he encouraged men looking for love like he had been to “increase your IRL surface area.”
Meaning? Spend more time around people. Simple advice, but not necessarily easy to follow through on, I know.
It makes sense, though. You’ll improve your odds of meeting someone exponentially when you put yourself in contact with more someones.
He says, “Delete your dating apps and start going out every single day. [Go] to the gym, go to the grocery store, go work from cafes. You need to try a new group fitness class every other day, go to yoga and pilates, and join meetups for things you’re interested in.”
Again, makes sense.
When it comes to the best places to meet single women, it’s smart to start outside of your home, where presumably, there are no single women.
How to start? Say yes to invites. Ask friends – and friends of friends – to get together.
Go to venues where it won’t just be the two of you, either.
Follow Ariel’s lead and be where the people are. Places where you’re putting yourself in contact with even more people.
Adopting an IRL Surface Area strategy is especially important for guys who are frustrated by a lack of online dating app matches.
App culture has made it easy to dismiss potential love interests based on things that would never be a dealbreaker in real life. I mean, who would even know if someone knew the difference between “your” and “you’re” in real life until at least the second or third date?!)
Trust me that a charismatic opener will stop a woman in her tracks from analyzing if you’re 5’11” or actually 5’10” the way she might online.
Of course, you’ll still have to muster up the courage to actually approach women in real life with said-opener, but when you do? You’ll have a better shot at a true connection than being swiped away with the flick of a thumb.
The tl;dr?
Be someone who is out there, bopping around in the world, talking to strangers, making conversation.
My friend wouldn’t say it this way, but I will:
Send the universe a signal that you are open to meeting someone special, and the universe will put potential special someones in front of you.
But you’ve gotta keep your end of the bargain first.
If this sounds equally compelling and terrifying, good. You’re in the right place.
Start today.
Okay, fine. Start tomorrow.
Sign up for a Pilates class. Grab coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in six months. Find your local run club and tag along for an early morning 5k.
Or whatever! A board game night. Pub trivia.
Whatever you want to be doing with a significant other? Start doing that stuff with friends or on your own now.
Increase your IRL Surface Area and see what happens.
As my friend wrapped up his tweet, “Good women are out there. You just have to put in the work.”
More dating and relationship resources from SG HQ:
3 Things Men Do That Women Love
